Fundamental Aspects of Relationships
The most basic aspect of any lasting relationship, whether it’s a friendship, a romance, or business, is the common ground that must be there between the participants. Because most of us have family relationships, the common ground there is genetic. Unfortunately, the biggest factor in relationships going bad and ending is usually the loss of common ground, whether through a lack of interest or the individuals growing and maturing, thus forcing them apart.
Research has shown that couples with little depth in their relationship usually do not last and the relationship falls apart. Superficial reasons, such as looks, should be an ice-breaker between people, not the only reason they are together. With no common ground and no more interest in one another than their looks or because the other is fun, etc., these type of relationship stand little chance of getting off the ground. Instead, relationships that evolve from physical attraction to something more, like qualities attraction, will become firm and long lasting. People want partners that are compassionate, intelligent, independent and able to communicate and are not afraid to do so. Couples, who find these qualities in one another, are able to encourage each other to grow and work together to build the relationship will go on to find success.
In order to succeed in one type of relationship, the skills that it takes to develop other types of relationships can be used. It is very common to build one type of relationship from what we’ve learned while establishing others. A business relationship, for example, takes the skills we learn to make friends and the skills we learn to work in a team, and combine them to build a business relationship with our co-workers.
Intimate relationships usually build themselves not only around common ground and affection, but also the agreement that each member of the couple will stay loyal and monogamous to the other, especially where physical intimacy is concerned. Men and women often get jealous of the others relationships with the opposite sex, even if the interaction is only on a friendly basis. And if the couple isn’t married and there is flirting going on between one member of the couple and a mutual friend, then you expect to be damage control or losing a friend all together. The same is true for ‘friends with benefits’. Sometimes the intimacy between them can cause severe results and loss of friendship, or, it can enhance the friendship even more.
Relationships are not always healthy. Abusive relationships are characterized by physical assault or emotional abuse, either the use or threat thereof. This can include jealousy, emotional withholding, lack of sex or intimate actions or sexual coercion, infidelity, verbal abuse, violence, control, and power games. Usually, once the abuse starts, it gets worse over time. Co-dependency is where a person displays too much affection for another person, usually the wrong type of affection. The dependent person has obvious emotional, physical, or financial problems, or addictions they are unable to overcome. The other person in the relationship takes advantage of the needy one by controlling them, making excuses for them, pitying them, and doing other things that continues the condition of the needy person and keeping them from getting out of the loop.
Other aspects of interpersonal relationships that must be considered in order to make them work include: closure when the relationship ends; trust; benefits each party provides to the other; the need to give and receive love; fairness and equality in the relationship; the awareness that the relationship needs to grow and it will change; and the psychological types of the participants involved.